The Irony of B Celebrities

Let’s be honest, the majority of comments I've witnessed since Willy Moon and Natalia Kills were announced as judges on X Factor New Zealand have been "Who are these two?" I guess if you live in a country that has wasted time indulging this couple in a "career" you'd have a clue who they are. However here in little old New Zealand they are indeed B grade celebrities. 

Right now unless you are hibernating under a rather large rock within the shores of NZ you will realise that there has been quite the fracas over the last 24 hours regarding these two and their venomous comments towards X Factor contestant Joe Irvine. That alone was enough to boil my blood to a temperature that left me in danger of blowing my stack. But what really pushed me over the edge was the level of arrogance and hypocrisy that oozed from these two. Now anyone who knows me understands that both of those things are two of my greatest pet hates, apart from crumbs in the butter but that's a whole other blog.

When Joe Irvine appeared on stage from behind the screens and started to croon I thought "WOW. This guy looks amazing. Michael Buble would be proud!" Not once did I think he looked anything like Willy Moon and I'm sure most of NZ was thinking the same thing. In fact when Natalia started her rampage of words I was shocked more by the leap she'd made to him looking like her husband than the words that came out of her mouth. What level of arrogance does one have to have in order to make that sort of association? But that wasn't the worst part in my books. What really rubbed me the wrong way was the following quote by Cleopatra's doppelganger:

"As an artist who respects creative integrity and intellectual property, I am disgusted at how much you have copied my husband. From the hair to the suit, do you not have any value or respect for originality?"

I think Mrs Willy Moon needs to look at a dictionary and learn the meaning or originality and creative integrity, because I'm not seeing an ounce of it in her or her husband. I mean lets break this down and examine how much of what she wholeheartedly believes in, actually exists in her own life.

Firstly, myself and well anyone with 20/20 vision can't help but notice how much Natalia seems to model her look on Cleopatra. It is of course a much more aggressive version of the look. And by aggressive I mean she looks like a wannabe drag queen that fell into a face full of make up before rolling around in a bunch of gaudy Christmas decoration cast offs, and then attempted to call it fashion. It would seem that when you stole Cleopatra's look you also managed to get a giant pyramid wedged so far up your arse that it causes regular outbursts of verbal poison followed by bouts of sulking and pouting. You might want to sort that attitude out before you end up falling into D grade celebrity status because no one wants to work with a spoilt brat.

As for Mr Moon himself, every time I see a video clip of him awkwardly jigging to his music like a drunk epileptic, I can't help but think he has modelled his look on the likes of early era Beatles and various other suited acts from the 50's and 60's. Where on earth is the originality and creative integrity in that? The there is his actual music which sounds like he shouted down the microphone for a few minutes, auto tuned it to sound like he is singing into an tin can and then proceeded to call it creative expression.

This however seems to be the irony of self important celebrities that hype themselves up to A grade status when it is clear they are nothing more than B grade wannabes. You are not creative! You are not Original! You are not Talented! You are just arrogant, self inflated ego's who really bring nothing of importance to the world.

You will forever be known as the judges fired from X Factor NZ. You will forever be known as bullies.

I look forward with eager anticipation to see what level of creativity and originality you bring to your careers next.

That last part was really hard to type without breaking into hysterical laughter. Until next time blogettes!

Lulu xo

September 4th 2010

For as long as I live, I don’t think I will ever forget my experiences of September 4^th 2010 and February 22^nd 2011. As I write this it is only two days until the two year anniversary of the September event. It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long since it happened. Other major events that have happened over the years around the world, I’ve often marvelled at how quickly the anniversaries roll around. However, when you are the one directly affected by it, it seems to take place at an even faster pace, a pace that fills me with disbelief. The flashbacks I have in my head from both of these events feel so fresh, as if they have only just taken place. The emotion associated with these vivid memories are still so raw when I remember, that I still feel the fear in my gut and devastation in my heart as if I’m back in that moment.

One of the biggest emotions represented on those days were shock. It is here that I feel the need to elaborate further in order for people to understand this completely. I am a proud Cantabrian born and bred, out of thirty four years I have spent twenty two of them living in Christchurch. In those twenty two years I can count on one hand the amount of earthquakes I’ve felt there. We were never the ones to experience the next big one; we didn’t even know there were major fault lines running under our region. It was supposed to be Wellington, not us. Even with the second quake on the 22^nd of February, which claimed one hundred and eighty one lives, there was absolute shock. When September happened the experts said it was a once in a lifetime event to experience a quake of that size. Everything they’d seen before in previous earthquakes of this level said that these events always follow a pattern. What happened in Christchurch is unprecedented according to the experts, so they had no idea what was going to unfold after September.

As I sit here writing this I close my eyes and allow myself to go back to those moments so I can live them and feel them all over again. I remember literally being shaken awake and in that first instant I thought it was just your stock standard earthquake. That was until my eyes focused a moment later and I could see the wall above my sliding door to the balcony violently jerking back and forth at least half a metre each way. It was then that I knew this wasn’t anything I’d experienced before. I screamed out “EARTHQUAKE” at the top of my lungs to wake James who was asleep beside me. At that time my mum and little brother, who was almost 10 years old, were staying with us, so my immediate first thought as I tried to make it to the doorway was them. I remember attempting to run at least to the door as I was flung backwards and forwards. I only just made it past our old and very heavy 29 inch TV before it came down crashing and smashing onto the floor. It was so close I could feel the swoosh of air as it fell. I realised then that I couldn’t make it any further through the house than the door way, and it was there that I clung to it like it was some sort of safety raft. I will never forget the sound of the quake as it filled my ears, an angry continuous rumble accompanied by the sound of the house and everything in it being smashed about.

James had managed to stumble to the door way and was standing there more annoyed that he had been woken from his precious sleep. I thought this quake was never going to end as it just went on and on becoming more and more violent. Attached to the doorway all I could do was look directly across the landing to my mum and brother who were under the opposite doorway, looking equally terrified at what was taking place. I remember hearing my mother praying loudly “Please God, please God keep us safe. PLEASE GOD.” We were all convinced that the top storey we were in was going to fall to the first floor if this violent rocking and jerking got any worse. I can’t even begin to explain to you how excruciatingly terrifying it is to stand only metres from your family and watch in horror as you think you might possibly watch them die in front of your eyes. That’s not over dramatics or an attempt to make this sound worse than it was that’s how it felt in that moment. Until you have experienced something of this size you can never fully understand. I know those of you reading this who are fellow Cantabs though know exactly what I mean. And so all I could do was chime in with my own prayers “Please God, not yet. I’m not ready yet. Please God not yet!” It’s incredible that in times where you feel your life is in danger that you either “find” God or “reconnect” with him pretty damn fast.

This terror we had become caught up in lasted for almost a minute. Now if you sit there and watch the clock for a full minute before it ticks over you begin to get a sense how long a minute can feel like when you are aware of it. Even in those moments when the house finally stopped swaying so violently, you still felt like you were moving and then there was little reprieve before the aftershocks began to roll in. Suddenly there was eerie silence directly surrounding us, with sirens wailing in the distance from cars and houses. My instinct was to reach for the light switch, as for me everything seems far more scary when it’s in the dark. But to my horror I discovered there was no power, frantically I pushed the switch up and down, willing it to work before I gave into the fact that we were stuck in the darkness. By this stage I had gone into panic mode, all I could think about was my animals. I had three cats and my beautiful dog then and they are my babies so I was instantly terrified for them. It’s not like I could gather them all up in my arms and hold them tight to protect them like I could with real children. I started crying and saying over and over “the animals, the animals what about the animals.” I’m so proud of my mum at this exact moment where she fell into the role of super mother, despite the fact that she was just as terrified as the rest of us she straightened herself up and took over the situation. She said to not worry that she will make sure they were safe but that we needed to get out of the house until we could tell how much damage there was and that it was safe to re-enter. I don’t even remember who went and let them out because my next worry was finding my pants to put on. Remember its 4:35 in the morning and I’d been thrown out of bed in a panic, thank god I wasn’t sleeping naked that night and had a night gown on, but I wanted my damn pants and that set me off crying again.

Someone managed to get my pants and get them on me as another aftershock started, which only added further to the hysterics. Dressed and with shoes only a couple of minutes after the initial quake had hit the animals were outside where it was safer for them in our eyes. What I failed to point out was that at the time we lived in a block of five town houses, so as I rushed down the stairs and out the front door of our house sobbing with fear, every other person in our block was doing the same. They were calling to one another up and down the driveway to make sure everyone was ok and I can assure you there were a lot of choice words being thrown around by everyone. We all gathered in the middle of our shared driveway to check how everyone was, when suddenly we realised the old lady directly next door to us was nowhere to be seen. Quickly myself and another neighbour rushed to her front door and began pounding on it and calling her name. We were starting to panic as we hadn’t got a response from her and had been standing at the door for about a minute when this small voice from inside answered. She informed us she was hiding under the dining room table and that she was ok. We knew it would only be a matter of a few minutes before her daughter would probably show up to check on her mother.

Again, I’m going to use the word shock to sum up the atmosphere of ourselves and our neighbours as we stood in the middle of the driveway. Waves of aftershocks continued to roll beneath the ground with the added sound of the large trees nearby shaking with every movement. Everybody just looked at one another with stunned expressions, several of us lit up cigarettes sucking on them like they were atomisers full of valium. We all sort of spoke over one another as we tried to get our own personal experiences and feelings out. Some of the neighbours decided to wander back inside, realising there wasn’t much that could be done out here. I was eyeing up my house like it was something evil intent on destroying me, I really didn’t want to go back inside, but I knew that it wouldn’t be long before I was alone out there and that was almost worse. I have discovered in moments like this you literally want to cling to those people you love that are around you. As if they are your life raft through this entire experience, as if they will make everything all better just by them being nearby.

Throughout all of this there had been panicked usage of our cell phones as we tried to contact our family and friends that were also in Christchurch. We knew how bad it had been here, but we had no idea how the rest of the city had fared. Ringing people’s landlines wasn’t an option as many lines had been damaged during the quake. Thankfully for us, those that we were worried about the most were able to contact us back and let us know they were ok. It was about this time that James decided he was going to go back to bed, grumbling about not enough sleep. It seemed as if most people were going to attempt the same, so I begrudgingly followed suit. I also remembered that I had a radio on my cell phone that I could use if I could find the hands free earpiece that went with it, which meant spending a few moments in the lounge downstairs rummaging for it. The entire time I was in there I was terrified that another massive quake was going to hit and the entire second story would fall down and crush me. If I had to be inside and choose the lesser of two evils it was to be upstairs, at least that way if the second story did go I’d fall with it rather than it fall on me. Once I’d found the hands free ear piece I made a mad dash up the stairs to the second floor landing where my mum and brother were waiting for me. My mum asked me if she could drag the mattress from their bedroom into our bedroom and sleep on the floor at the end of our bed. Of course that was alright, I could understand how they wanted to be close to us. Like I’d said earlier you feel the need to cling to your loved ones in a moment like this. In the darkness, as the house continued to tremble every few moments, we listened to talk back radio. It was then that we learned just how big this quake had been and the early affects it was having all over the city. That was the first time we ever heard the term “liquefaction (1),” something that would be widely discussed and loathed in time to come. We marvelled in whispers at how lucky it was that this had taken place in the middle of the night. Lucky may be an ironic choice of words given the circumstance we found ourselves in the middle of, but had it been day time we knew it would be so much worse; a theory that would be confirmed in just over 5 months time.

James had managed to go back to sleep quickly an ability I am envious of. I lay in the dark clinging to him as I waited for every roll and shake to come, almost crying with fear every time. I waited with baited breath for the sun to come up because all I wanted to do was get out of that house. When I looked around all I could see were potential hazards and objects that could ultimately fall on me. I felt like I was stuck in a death trap and I wanted to get out. As soon as it started to become light I was up and getting dressed choosing to face this outside where there was plenty of open space. My little brother scurried out following quickly behind me; he was unable to sleep too. I was forced to put on a brave face for his sake as we stood at the end of the driveway and surveyed the street, hugging each other tightly as we spoke in muted tones about what was happening. I tried my best to reassure him that everything was going to be alright, even though deep inside I was completely terrified and wanted to get in the car and flee the city.

It wasn’t long before my mum had decided it was worthless trying to get more sleep and joined us outside. We were still without power and as it was morning I was craving my morning coffee. I cursed the fact that we’d never gone through with buying a gas powered portable stove top. We decided that we should go for a walk to the local dairy where I was sure I’d be able to find some sort of drink packed full of caffeine. We were also curious to survey any damage that had happened locally, but I don’t even think we were prepared for the damage we were going to see over the next few days. Only five houses down from us did we discover the first proof of the power of the quake. There is a beautiful old historic villa there that has been lovingly restored and I’d often admired it when passing by. However on this day, the entire left brick wall had fallen out still in perfect formation of the wall leaving only the wooden frame for that side of the house. We could see right into the privacy of their lounge and bedrooms. We stopped for about 10 minutes and talked with the owner of this home making sure he was ok and seeing if he needed anything. We were almost rooted to our spot in shock at what we were witnessing before our very eyes. It was a combination of sick fascination and horror. This didn’t happen to cities in New Zealand, let alone our very own Christchurch. This was the sort of stuff that took place in some far away land were accommodation was often substandard or extremely old.

We continued on our walk towards the dairy noticing various other cracks and chips missing from buildings that had been intact until a couple of hours earlier. Among them was the local church that had lost a lot of its facade which now lay in a crumpled heap on the ground below. A house damaged is sad enough because that is someone’s home and heart but when a place like a church, which is the epitome of peace and tranquillity, is damaged it really upsets me. But what upset me even more on that day was witnessing dairy owners who were charging exorbitant prices for basics like water which we could no longer get from our own taps due to possible contamination. It saddens me that people used a terrifying and shocking time to turn into vultures to extort money from people. It really does say something about the humanity of some people. However for every story that emerged about some arsehole, there were ten times as many to replace it with stories of kindness among both neighbours and strangers who reached out to one another and offered help in an abundance of ways. It was during those moments that I was proud to be part of such a community and culture of people who while in their own suffering reached out to help others.

In those days, weeks and months that followed people got on with cleaning up after the earthquake, and tried to cope as best as they could with the aftershocks that now plagued us and were in all honesty scary as hell. We moved house because I could no longer cope with living in a two story house. I’d been so terrified by the event that I hadn’t slept for the first 72 hours after it and ended up melting down and having to go on medication to keep me calm. According to my doctor most patients they saw directly after the quake were in need of the same sort of treatment. This quake had shaken our community to the core, but we knew we were strong and we would come back from this. We thought that the worst was over. We were wrong.

West Memphis Three Are Free

I never thought I’d ever have the chance to write those words and as I sit her writing this, the whole event that took place in Jonesboro, Arkansas only a few hours ago is bittersweet.  As any of my regular readers will know I have been a staunch supporter of these three men for many years now.  In fact it was only three weeks ago that I wrote a blog piece about the DNA evidence the defence had that would clear Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin and Jessie Misskelley from having in part in the murders of the three little boys back in 1993.  For 18 years many of us have supported these men and done everything we can to get the message out that this entire thing has been a miscarriage of justice.  While they may have walked free today the way this was handled is still a massive miscarriage of justice and the legal system and everyone within it should be ashamed of how this has turned out, especially you Mr Prosecuting Attorney, Scott Ellington. 

A couple of days ago it was announced that the judge in the case had called a surprise last minute hearing for Friday morning and that is when the murmurs first began that the three could be looking at release from prison.  Most of us to begin with thought this is fantastic they acknowledge that the defence now has DNA evidence so they know the defence has a chance of winning the admission of evidence hearing that was scheduled for December.  What we didn't count on was that because these three were desperate to gain freedom the prosecutors could use this to their advantage and use underhanded tactics to allow their release, so they offered them something known as an Alford Plea.  The plea works with the defendant/s not admitting the act but acknowledging that the prosecution has enough evidence to likely prove the charge.  In a round about way they are admitting guilt by admitting the prosecution has enough evidence, which we all know is completely false.  The only reason the prosecution offered them this plea is because they needed to save face and avoid a lawsuit from the three men.  By taking this plea Damien, Jason and Jessie cannot sue the prosecution or the state for the 18 years misspent in Jail.

To begin with Jason Baldwin did not want to take the plea, he wanted to fight for their freedom and clear their name but they were advised by their defence counsel to take the plea.  Personally I think that the defence were worried that a retrial could end up the same abortion as the first one because of the obvious corruption that has carried this case now for 18 years.  Jason realised that in order to ultimately save Damien’s life from death row the plea needed to be taken.  As I said this makes it a bittersweet moment for us all, that yes they are finally free but their names are not completely cleared yet.  This is something that I am prepared to rally for and support them through in the future.  We need to clear their names and try to reassert some form of justice into what has become a three ringed circus.  We also need to try and find some closure for the three little boys that lost their lives at the hand of a coldblooded killer.  Whoever it is, they are still roaming free and we need to do whatever we can to find out the truth and make the real criminal in this case accountable.

This is the next stage in this story, this doesn’t stop here for those of us that support Damien, Jason and Jessie.  They need our support more now than ever as they try to adjust to a world they don’t know or understand.  I’ve shed tears of joy and tears of heartache through this case, hell I stayed up until 6am my time all the way over here in little old New Zealand just to watch them walk out of that court room free at last.  I’ve always been one to fight for those who need it, and I’m not going to stop now.  We need to rally together to support these three men and their families through what is still going to be some tough times ahead.  We need to clear their names and bring justice once and for all.

Podcast for 15th August 2011

In this podcast I discuss the London Riots, England's controversial new jersey for the Rugby World Cup, and introduce you to my Music Pick of the week.  Click Here to listen.  Please feel free to comment and join the discussion in the comments below.

What I Believe

I have a tendency to sit and think a lot about things, in fact its one of the reasons I seem to have a problem with insomnia so often.  I have a mind that doesn't shut down easily as I try to put the world to rights in my own head.  I often wish it was more like a computer where I could place my mind into sleep or hibernate mode.  But, that is not an option so my mind continues to wander over various topics and over the last few months I’ve been focused on what I believe, what exactly are my belief systems.  Its been like an exercise in learning who I am at this point in my life, because our belief systems can change and alter over time as I’ve come to discover that mine have.

I believe in the supernatural, the paranormal, the unexplained.  In fact it goes beyond a belief to more of a fascination and a need to learn and understand about those things that are unexplainable.  One of my dream jobs besides being a writer of course, is to hunt the unexplained and paranormal.  Ghost hunting would be fantastic and its one thing I actually plan to dabble in more this year.  I also believe in big foot, the lochness monster, and other various cryptozoological anomalies.  However, I do not believe in aliens; how's that for a little bizarre, here I am believing in all these other weird and wonderful things and yet I don't believe in little green men.  I do believe that Unidentified Flying Objects exist, but I don't believe that they are alien aircraft.

I believe in God or a higher power, I don't think it matters what you want to call it as its the belief in something out there that is the most important factor, I just choose to refer to it as God.  I believe every “religion” has something important to teach us in order to help us on our journey of life, so I choose to take the things from various religions that speak to my core.  But, here is the kicker, I don't believe in organised religion.  I believe that your chosen religion or belief system can be anything that speaks to your soul and makes you strive to be something wonderful.  As I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post I feel that music is more my religion than anything else, if you haven't read that particular post yet I encourage you to in order to understand my rationale better.  You can find it Here.  For me it doesn't matter that people have different belief systems from me, we are all entitled to our individual ideology, what really matters is that we have faith in something.  One of the main reasons I no longer believe in organised religion is because of the trouble that is often caused in the name of religion.  So many wars have been started in the name of whatever they believe in at the time.  The Catholics fight the protestants, the Muslims fight the Christians, we burned witches or pagans for their beliefs.  How is all of that a good thing, shouldn't we be concentrating on loving our fellow man and accepting them despite the differences in belief.  Isn't religion supposed to be about peace, love and acceptance.  And yet the moment you disagree with someone's beliefs they turn their backs on you or persecute you.  I refuse to be a part of something that encourages those reactions and behaviours towards people.  I chose a path of love and acceptance no matter what you believe in.

I believe that individual culture is what keeps us feeling like we belong and at no time do we have the right to judge another persons culture.  Ethnocentric minds sets are what have systematically destroyed many cultures around the world.  Westerners especially are guilty of such behaviours, our ancestors have travelled to the ends of the earth and raped many people of their culture and sense of self.  I believe that is why so many indigenous cultures have issues with drugs, alcohol and committing crime.  When you lose your culture you lose your sense of self, when you lose your sense of self you lose your place within society.  When we are lost we turn to various vices in order to makes us feel better or to numb the pain.  As people we need to stop trying to change everyone's culture in order to make us feel better about ourselves.  We do not necessarily have to agree with the practices within other cultures, but we must respect them and allow them to continue their practices.

I believe it is our responsibility to look after this earth and all the creatures on it, which is why I am passionate about fighting the cause.  I believe that we have already damaged this earth enough and that if we don't do something about it soon, this earth will destroy us in return for our actions.  I believe wholeheartedly that this is the reason natural disasters have increased, we have created a knock on effect through global warning and the destruction of this planet.  I believe that because animals do not have a voice, we must stand up and act as a voice for them.  If we don't then creatures we take for granted will one day no longer wander the earth, they are disappearing before our very eyes and we must do whatever we can to stop this.

I believe that when we figure out our belief systems then we begin to know who we are as a person.  I believe that when you know who you are as a person, you can find peace within.  So, what do you believe?

London Riots

I think the whole world has watched in horror as these riots have unfolded in London and spread throughout England to Manchester and Birmingham.  I have many friends from the UK who have expressed their distaste at the English people involved in these riots, they have also spoken of their shame at even being British.  My own great grandfather came from Canning Town in the East End of London, jumping ship upon his arrival to New Zealand.  A lot of us have links to the UK and the people within it, so we have all in some way been touched watching what is going on.  I had one friend comment that they had lost their faith in humanity, however I saw that humanity returned tonight on the news, watching the droves of people coming to the areas worst hit in London and spending the day working together to clean up the mess.

In the coming days and weeks people will want answers, they will want to lay the blame with someone and expect whoever they point fingers at to take responsibility for what has happened.  I say that we are all responsible for what has taken place, I have expressed that on various social networks and I wanted to expand here on my blog.  Watching these riots it is abundantly clear that the majority of those taking part are young men who have absolutely no respect for anyone or anything, especially authority figures.  So the question posed is Why?  And the obvious answer I can see is that its because we have allowed this generation to exist.  We have come through a generation of people that have become to relaxed in parenting skills, we see it all the time children getting away with things they shouldn't be because we allow them to.  No longer can we use smacking as a discipline without fear of persecution or prosecution, instead we are encouraged to talk to our children rather than set boundaries and keep to them.  We have raised a generation that we have taught to stand up and fight against the authorities, rather than respect them and listen.  When someone breaks the law the penalties are not harsh enough, we simply slap them on the wrists and send them on their merry way, sending the message that its ok to break the law because you’re going to get away with it anyway.

We have created a generation of lazy people that want the easy way out so turn to living a life filled with making easy money, usually through doing things illegally.  We allow them to sit around and claim benefits all day and never encourage them to be productive in life.  Boredom creates restlessness and restlessness leads to these sorts of acts we see today.  We need to make changes for the next generations coming up through the ranks.  We need to get back to the days and ways of old that teach us respect for people, respect for property, respect for authority and respect for boundaries.  If we don't change the way we are raising our generations we are going to see more and more of these moments of unrest and uprising.  Something needs to change before it is too late. Make the changes for the next generation!

West Memphis Three Update

First I’d like to thank the official Free The West Memphis Three blog for originally bringing this information to light.  If you’d like to follow the blog you can do so here.  If you have no idea who the West Memphis Three are or would like to learn more about them, then please read my original blog post regarding them here.

Now that we have all of that out of the way we can focus on the new information that has been made public.  DNA samples were sent away a while ago and the results of these have been returned with the report being filed on the 18th of July.  These DNA results conclusively exclude Echols, Misskelley and Baldwin from ever being near the bodies of the three boys.  The DNA was found on the bottom of one of the boys shoes and upon testing have discovered that it belongs to two separate males that they have yet to identify.  They are also still testing hairs that were found at the crime scene and will also make there findings public once it is completed.  All of this evidence however points to the WM3 being innocent as so many of us have known all along.

This craziness has been going on for 18 years now and three innocent boys, who have now become men behind bars, have lost out on their youth because of an immense miscarriage of justice.  These latest findings will go before the judge in December, where he will decide whether this evidence is strong enough to call for a new trial before a jury.  If he doesn't see that there is mounting evidence to prove the WM3 are innocent of multiple homicide then someone higher up the legal chain needs to step in.  This is completely ridiculous and makes a mockery out of the judicial system to keep three innocent people behind bars.  Evidence doesn't lie, and all evidence points to them being innocent.  Keeping fighting for justice people, it will prevail in the end.